"The Dragon"
24 x 36 in Digital collage using Photoshop November 2021 |
Exhibition Text This project was created using photography and Photoshop. My intention for this piece was to create a collage that represented my internal and external struggles with anxiety and how living with anxiety makes me feel. My artistic inspiration for this project was Alex Contreras, a graphic designer and digital artist. I fell in love with the way he used geometric and organic shapes to create unique forms. I also loved how he used smudging techniques in his works to give off a more dramatic effect.
|
Critical Investigation
Name of pieces unknown, Alex Contreras
Inspiration
Alex Contreras is a very modern day artist and makes digital pieces to this day. He is well known by fans and followers for his greatly emotional and beautiful digital art pieces. Contreras has stated that his work comes from a very dry place in him mind and finds inspiration while doing mundane tasks. As of recent, Contreras has created some very interesting pieces like the ones above. The top left image displays 2 adolescent women, one standing in front of the other. They look like they are opposites, one wearing white and one wearing black which could represent yin and yang. Yin being dark and negative while yang is positive and light. They are opposite but connected. I also really found that there was a prevalent white circle that appears in most of Contreras's pieces. The circle really ties together the entirety of the piece and makes your eve focus on the main point of the collage. In the top middle, there is an image of a woman sitting with a blank stare looking off into the distance. The color is literally draining from her face and her body is being pulled away from her. Again, going along with the blending idea, I think that this piece represent her identity being stripped away from her. This really gave me inspiration and I know that I wanted my piece to do with my identity being stripped along with the blending. Finally on the top right there is an image of a woman sitting while her face flows down into the unknown abyss. She is again losing her identity to some unknown force, and she is slowly melting away into this sad and empty puddle. Although there isn't much said about Contreras as an artist in general, his pieces speak exponentially louder and I can feel the emotion that he put in each collage. I was also inspired by objects from my past that I wanted to incorporate into this collage. I first added an image of a small clay dragon that I made in therapy when I was 6. This dragon was supposed to represent my anxiety and I was always told when I was younger that I needed to slay my dragon. I also incorporated my blanket that I have had ever since I was born which represents comfort and joy for me.
Planning
When planning out this piece, I wanted to create a piece that would not only impact myself but impact others as well. I began brainstorming simple ideas. I knew that the project needed to represent something that has shaped us into who we have become today. I decided to go with the topic of anxiety. I knew that anxiety was an important party of who I am today and I wanted to showcase that in my piece. I began by drawing some simple sketches. I knew that I wanted my collage to resemble the pieces make by Alex Contreras so I knew that I wanted to include his notorious white circle and the smudging of the faces. I began by sketching an image of myself that would melt into another image of myself. I decided that I could come up with something more unique so I decided that I was going to make myself melt into a dragon because when I was little my therapist told me that my anxiety was a dragon in the back of my mind. After coming up with this idea, I had an amazing epiphany. Instead of painting or making my own dragon, I could use the actually dragon I made in therapy. After that, I made some finishing touches to my planning and ended up going with the idea of having me melt into a clay dragon with a circle surrounding us like a bubble that holds us together.
Process
When creating this piece, I had to develop many different skills and techniques in order to be successful. To begin, I had to learn how to use Photoshop and Photo-pea so that I could have an end project that I could be proud of. I began by watching demonstrations on how to use these photo editing sites but then I began to ease my way into watching beginner tutorials on Youtube so that I could have a more in depth description of how to use these sites. After that, I began practicing by cutting out small images of dogs and cats so that I could get into the hang of layering, blending, and shading. I had to develop new skills in order to successfully complete this piece.
|
I began by taking my images that I would be using for the collage. The background of these pictures didn't matter but I wanted natural lighting so I went outside and began taking pictures. I took around 50 different photos of my face and body in different positions so I could decide what image I liked the best. I knew that I wanted to make a pose where it looked like I was screaming but I had a difficult time getting the look I desired. Some pictures looked like I was happy or cheering but I finally got the perfect picture where it looks like i'm actually screaming and it appears very emotional. I then took a picture of my clay dragon that I made as a child. The dragon looked a little silly and inaccurate compared to an actual picture of a dragon but it definitely brings character to my piece.
|
After the photos, I then made a new 24 x 36 image in Photo-pea. I used the sketches from my planning stage to guide me with how to start off. I began by inserting an image of myself onto the "paper" and then I used the magic cut option to remove my face from the background. I carefully drew over every strand of hair in order to make my image look less like a sticker and more like it belongs there. I also repeated this same process with the clay dragon head that I also used for this piece.
I then took the brush tool and drew a white circle around the dragon and myself and layered them so that they were above the image of my blanket but below the image of the dragon and myself. I then adjusted the size and texture of the brush and retraced that outline so that it gave off the neon sign glowing affect that I was going for. This part was a little difficult because I needed a very steady hand so that the circle was as perfect as possible, but it is extremely difficult to be accurate when using a mouse on a keyboard. I then blended out the edges using the blending tool so that the white line looked less harsh. This was much easier than using the drawing tool but I still had some challenges. I adjusted the blending tool so that it was as strong as possible because it was very time consuming trying to blend out everything smoothly. In the end, I think that the finished product is what I imagined and I like how it turned out.
|
Next, I began by placing my face and the dragon in their planned positions. I then began taking the smudge tool and blended my hair with the front of the dragon's face. I wanted to give off the appearance that I was trying to break away from this dragon but no matter how hard I try, I am still stuck to it. I then took an image of my childhood blanket and layered it as the background. I wanted to incorporate this blanket, because when I have it with me, I feel less stressed and my anxiousness is less apparent so this felt like an important component that needed to be added. I toned down the contrast so that the background wouldn't draw attention away from the main focal point of the piece. and painted the layer under the blanket pink so that it wasn't extremely pale.
|
Experimentation
This medium was extremely new to me and I had absolutely no experience using photo collaging software like Photoshop and Photo-pea. I started off by experimenting with Photosphopping dogs and cats by butting them out and making sure each little hair was in the picture. I practiced using shadows, the stamping tool, the different brush tools, and layering. At first I was struggling a little bit but after I practiced a little and watched a few tutorials, I started to get the hang of using this new medium. I found myself struggling when I was trying to cut out my images because the image that I took of myself has lots of small baby hairs and flyaways so I had to either delete that whole section of hair or slowly trace over every piece so that it looked like my hair was blowing in the wind. Overall I think that after I got the hang of how to use Photoshop, I was able to comple this project pretty smoothly.
Essay
I believe that I can shrink my dragon. Ever since I was little I knew that I was different. I would get terrified at the thought of my parents leaving the house to take the trash out. I couldn’t be left alone in the car when my dad ran into the gas station to pay for gas, without freaking out. I couldn’t even sleep in my bed without the door being wide open and all the lights on throughout the house. At around the age of 6, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I was told that there was a “dragon” in the back of my mind whispering to me and telling me to be scared of little things like walking up the stairs with the lights off or presenting a project at school. The dragon made me have the most irrational of fears. I thought that if my mom went outside to water flowers that she would just get in her car and drive away. I truly believed that my family would abandon me at any chance they could get. Many people may believe that they have anxiety which is probably true but there is a difference between daily stress over trying to get a project for work and school being done on time and having an anxiety disorder where it is a struggle to leave the house to even attend school or work. I would like to say that my anxiety is cured and I no longer suffer from the grasp of the dragon but that would be a lie. Although my anxiety over silly things like being abandoned at my own house is gone, I suffer from many new forms of anxiety. If my mom is supposed to be home at 6 pm and it’s 6:45 horrible thoughts rush through my head. What if she got in a car accident? What if she is lying injured on the side of the road? How could I live without my mom? I even get these thoughts when I hear an abnormal noise coming from the back door. What if someone is trying to break into my house and hurtl my whole family? These thoughts are horrible and fill me with this terrible sense of dread and fear. Now that I’m older, I also realize that throughout the day my stomach will just drop out of nowhere. I have no reason to be anxious yet my body and mind make me believe that something bad will happen. My entire life I have been trying my hardest to free myself from this dragon and it just feels like I'm walking in the opposite direction on a treadmill. My family also loves to tell me how much I have improved and how they think my anxiety is getting better but they are wrong. Just because I have learned to internalize these feelings doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. I think that my anxiety has gotten better since I was 6 but it is nowhere near gone yet. I believe that with enough help and guidance, I can improve my mental health and shrink my dragon.
Critique
This project was inspired my Alex Contreras so there are a lot of similarities and differences withing this project. To compare, the collage that I created contains many shapes and symbols that Contreras uses. An example of this is the big glowing circle that he includes in his art. I think of the circle as a way to group something together or connect two things. So I added it to my project to connect myself with my dragon. Another example is the face smudging. Contreras uses face smudging in his art so I wanted to incorporate that in my collage as a representation of loss of identity and uneasy emotion. Some differences are how I used a lot of symbolism with my objects and myself. I used objects that are important to me as well as myself but Contreras seems to only use images of other people in his art and utilizes less symbolism.
Reflection
My inspiration for this project was Alex Contreras's digital art pieces. I really appreciated the true emotion that was expressed in each of his art pieces and I think that Contreras exhibited great appreciation for the human form. The mix between geometric and organic shapes really ties the whole piece together. I wanted to create something that represented me as a person and how I have seen a part of myself since I was 4 years old. I also wanted to incorporate specific objects into my piece that represented my anxiety and my identity. Again, I incorporated a small clay dragon that I created when I was 6 that I made in therapy which represents the anxiety in the back of my mind. The background is a picture of a safety blanket that I have has since I was born. I tried to emphasis these objects in my collage because they are most important to me. I think that I did a pretty good job at my first attempt at using Photoshop and I am proud of the finished product. If I were to re do this assignment I would definitely watch more tutorials just so that I could have a better understanding of Photoshop and how it works. My biggest challenge was probably making sure that everything looked blended and organized. I was worried that my piece would look scattered but I think I did a good job at making sure everything flowed nicely across the image.
ACT
1) I identified the distress, struggle, and beauty that Contreras put into each piece that he created. This lead me to creating an emotional piece that greatly resembles Contreras's style and personal meaning.
2) I think that Contreras was and still is dealing with an internal and heavy struggle. He is dealing with this concept of identity and I has created beautiful pieces that represent this point of view.
3) While doing my research, I have concluded that Contreras is a very private artist and he likes to express his feelings and emotions through his work rather than talking.
4) My central theme or main idea centered around my personal struggle with anxiety and how anxiety has shaped me today.
5) I've concluded that Contreras has very unique pieces but they all seem to have the same underlying theme. There is always a smudge going across someones body, and there always seems to be a glowing white circle. He wants to portray the same message throughout all of his pieces.
2) I think that Contreras was and still is dealing with an internal and heavy struggle. He is dealing with this concept of identity and I has created beautiful pieces that represent this point of view.
3) While doing my research, I have concluded that Contreras is a very private artist and he likes to express his feelings and emotions through his work rather than talking.
4) My central theme or main idea centered around my personal struggle with anxiety and how anxiety has shaped me today.
5) I've concluded that Contreras has very unique pieces but they all seem to have the same underlying theme. There is always a smudge going across someones body, and there always seems to be a glowing white circle. He wants to portray the same message throughout all of his pieces.
Bibliography
"Alex Contreras - Collage Artist & Artworks On UPON". Art UPON, 2021, https://www.artupon.com/alex-contreras/.
"Online Art Gallery | Image Reports". Onlineartgallery.Ir, 2021, http://www.onlineartgallery.ir/en/graphic/?m_id=90&id=13760/look-at-the-Collage-artist%60s-works-%22Alex-Contreras%22.
"Online Art Gallery | Image Reports". Onlineartgallery.Ir, 2021, http://www.onlineartgallery.ir/en/graphic/?m_id=90&id=13760/look-at-the-Collage-artist%60s-works-%22Alex-Contreras%22.